Movie Review: Captain Marvel


Directed by: Anna Boden & Ryan Fleck
Premiered on March 8, 2019

I’m going to try and be completely unbiased in the following review. Oh. Who am I kidding? I wanted this movie to be amazing. I went into this movie knowing I was going to love it. I have hyped this movie to everyone I know.  And I’m not going to lie, it has taken Marvel much too long for them to finally have a female led movie. To be fair*, they did bring us Agent Carter, but they took her away from us far too soon.

So. Unbiased? Probably not, but I’ll be as honest as I can. I loved this movie. This is also the part where I pledge my undying love for Carol Danvers.

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Thoughts: Avengers: Infinity War (SPOILERS)


Directed by: Anthony  & Joe Russo
Release Date: April 27, 2018

Full disclosure: This is more of a stream of conscious ramble of thoughts regarding the film than a straight forward review. It’s abundantly clear from the following that I have way too much love for fictional characters.

There will be lots of spoilers as I intend to just dump all my thoughts I have below. So if you haven’t seen the movie or if you have a lot of feelings about spoilers, please stay away.

Seriously. I will spoiler everything.

Thursday was an extremely long day for me.  Ten years of movies had led to that night. I don’t think I can properly convey my excitement as I sat bouncing my knee at my desk counting down the hours that I could leave for the theater. My phone was buzzing next to me as I worked.  My friends were already there and waiting in line. One friend had decided to build an infinity gauntlet out of duck tape and ring pops. We were all very excited. We had been discussing our theories for weeks leading up to Thursday night. We’d spent the past few weekends re-watching all of the movies from the MCU and we thought we knew how it was all going to go down.  We were prepared for our favorites to die noble deaths as they saved the universe. After 10 years we were pretty confident in the formula for a Marvel movie.

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Movie: Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle


Directed by: Jake Kasdan 
Release Date: December 20, 2017

Every other weekend I’m seeing another sequel/remake/reboot of something from my childhood.  One look at my feelings on things like IT and Stranger Things will tell you I’m in no way opposed to jumping on the nostalgia train.  However, it does get a little bit much from time to time to always rehash old things and while there’s a lot of good out there… there’s also Independence Day: Resurgence.  I find myself always TRYING to keep one foot on the ground when I see a trailer.   

In 1995, I saw Jumanji and it was incredible.  Honestly, it should be listed as one of those movies which shaped my imagination.  It was scary and funny and to an 8 year old the danger was “real”.  So, to say that I was going to hold Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle to some tough standards was an understatement.  I was going to have to try and be objective and keep an open mind. Which was tough because those first few set photos were not inspiring any kind of confidence.  What do you mean it wasn’t going to feature a board game? What do you mean it’ll star Dwayne Johnson?? It’s supposed to be about kids! Is that really what Karen Gillian is wearing?! What is this?! 

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Movie: Kingsman: The Golden Circle


Directed by: Matthew Vaughn
Written by: Jane Goldman & Matthew Vaughn
Based on the comic book by: Mark Millar & Dave Gibbons 

 So, this review is a little late, but I think I have a good reason for that.  I actually had to watch this movie twice before I finished writing this because I wanted to be fair. The first time I watched it I did not like it. In fact, I hated it and I had written a pretty scathing review.  It might have been that I was tired, fighting off a headache, or maybe my expectations were just too high the first time I was in the theater, but it wasn’t pretty. The second time I saw this film I went with a friend.  We got a giant bucket of popcorn and we were having fun. I was able to enjoy so much more than I previously had.  So, I rewrote some of the review below and I was a little less hard on it than I had been.  

Back when Kingsman: The Secret Service first came out, I had instantly fallen in love with it. The world was fun and didn’t take itself too seriously.  I loved all of the characters from Harry (Colin Firth), to Merlin (Mark Strong) and especially Eggsy (Taron Egerton). Not to mention, has there been a more iconic scene then the Freebird church scene? It’s rivaled only by the firework head explosion scene at the end.  

This is all to say, I was really excited for Kingsman: The Golden Circle 

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Movie: Atomic Blonde


Directed by: David Leitch
Screenplay by: Kurt Johnstad
Based on the Graphic Novel by: Antony Johnston & Sam  Hart
Release Date: July 28, 2017

The problem with movie trailers today is you get the entire plot and the best jokes before you even get to the theater. At the very least the trailer is an awful representation of the film.  The trailer for Atomic Blonde however, is absolutely perfect.  Everything you need to know about this film is right there in the trailer.  The look, the feel, the amazing soundtrack – it is all there in the trailer and yet, it doesn’t give away any of the amazing twists and turns.

Do you like Mission: Impossible? James Bond? Did you always wish those films were more neon artwork starring an incredible Charlize Theron? Then guess what.  Atomic Blonde is that film.

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Movie: Hardcore Henry


Written/Directed by: Ilya Naishuller
Release Date: April 8, 2016

I’ve always been accused of liking every movie.  I won’t deny that I like most movies I see.  I can always find something positive to say about any movie. There is always something good to say…

Hardcore Henry, however, is the exception.  I hated this movie with every fiber of my being.  I left this movie theater seething because I was so mad by how much time I wasted sitting through this garbage.

If you listen to Flatscreen Flatmates, you would have heard me talking excitedly about seeing this movie.  It had to be interesting, if for only being filmed in a new exciting way. Most of it was filmed with a GoPro and how unique is that?  I looked at it as a way to push the boundaries on what cameras and technology were capable of.  The found footage genre was being taken a step further.  Hardcore Henry is a First Person Shooter style of movie.  Hey I like FPS games, surely this would be an experience at the very least. Right? Wrong.

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Movie: Pride & Prejudice & Zombies


Written and Directed by: Burr Steers
Based on the book by: Jane Austen & Seth Grahame-Smith

If you’re a fan of Pride & Prejudice and you love zombie movies, than I have some good news for you… you are going to love this movie.

Let’s just get this bit out of the way…Yes. This movie is exactly what you think it is.  Jane Austen’s British Regency novel revolving around the Bennet Family, but this time with a few more zombies than you remember.  It’s the same classic story of Elizabeth Bennet and her Mr. Darcy, but this time they are both highly trained in the deadly arts of zombie slaying.

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